Pusher
Daddy will save him, just like last time. He always does.
The darkness engulfed everything, it’s grip, along with hers, inescapable.
She spoke but all he heard was blood. Blood in his ears, racing to feed his brain. Arterial spray in his minds eye and nostrils, running down the walls. The heat in her arms fought the cold in his small naked frame.
The blood quietened until he realised he was screaming.
“Sssssh, please! He can’t hurt you any more.” The voice was his Mothers. “I wont let anyone hurt you ever again.”
The fight evaporated exposing fear, pain returned to his wrists and ankles. Hairy Man tied him tighter than the others, more so after last time.
Mum’s arms loosened, he pushed her away and saw everything at once. Hairy Man, still sneering, was dead. Shame and terror reduced to slick meat. Red everywhere.
“We have to go sweetheart.”
He always showered after. This was no different, he needed to rinse the sweat and stink off his skin.
“Please? Honey? You can wash where were going.” She grabbed a towel but only watched – they always watched, he didn’t mind. She still had the towel when he felt clean enough, she dried, he let her.
His clothes were ruined but she had others. Dinosaur underwear and long-sleeved-T, blue trousers and a hoodie that would fit someone twice his age. Still new and scratchy but they swallowed his bruises.
“I.. You’re still so small, We can buy new things.” He liked the dinosaurs so he shook his head. “We really have to go, now. Your Father could be back any time.”
He peeled a toy frog out of the already clotting viscera, her horrified look giving him slight pause. He put it in a new pocket.
“Jesu.. Leave it! I know it’s special.” And it was. It had been his brothers, all four of them, all dead before his birth. “Are you hungry baby? If we go now I’ll get you a cheeseburger. That’s your favourite, right? And fries, and ice cream, its.. We, we have to go. Right now. Please!”
He was hungry, not for ice cream. A smile spread from the corners of his mouth before he could stop it, Mum started crying. She scooped him back into her arms and held tighter – enough to hurt but not bad hurt, and ran from the room.
The car was small, the booster seat comfortable. It smelled clean, looked new. Memories of past punishments and grease from the promised cheeseburger meal warmly filling his lap combined nervously. He ate slowly, avoiding contact with anything but food and napkins.
They arrived, Mom waited quietly until he finished before carefully bagging the remains.
“There, that’s better isn’t it? Don’t look so frightened baby, I’ll keep you safe.”
The new room was the same but different to all the others he’d seen. Same plain wallpaper, T.V., Bed, Bathroom to the side, he knew where everything would be before walking through the door. Instead of restraints, pyjamas – more dinosaurs.
Different.
He changed in front of her, She’d seen him so there was no reason to hide. He heard a sharp breath as he again exposed the needle tracks, cuts, marks.
She talked more as they watched television, asked how he was sleeping, his appetite, Schooling. Folding his new clothes she unpocketed his toy frog, he snatched at it but she was quicker. He grabbed her arm and twisted, his strength surprising, it flew across the room and broke neatly against the wall.
It left a muddy red mark. She looked scared, but only for a moment.
“I was just going to clean it sweetheart, see how filthy it is – I can’t let you have it like this.” Tears welled in his eyes, She picked up the pieces and fitted them together. “Look, I can fix it.”
Tiredness came all at once, no strength left to stop the sobbing. She stayed with him until his eyes were too heavy to open.
“What the hell have you done?” A mans voice. Daddy said he would always find him. “You let him kill Paul? Why would you do that?”
“It has to end!” Mom’s voice, warm. He tried to open his eyes but he couldn’t, his arms wouldn’t move either.
“I can save him this time, that’s our Son..”
“That abomination is not my Son.” The warmth was gone. “You’ve seen what it can do – it’s a monster, just like the others..”
“NO! Not like the others, I’m.. Were so close! We can have him back!”
“Our Son died twenty years ago, this time you’re going to have to Let him go!”
“Wh.. What did you do?” Daddy sounded worried.
“I poisoned it last night. I destroyed the sample and I killed this.. thing. You’re done, it’s over..”
“..What did you use? WHAT?”
Strength was returning to his arms and legs, he was still tired but the fog was clearing fast.
The room was clear in his head, hard edges and soft flesh. The grown-ups glowed. He didn’t need to, but he opened his eyes anyway.
“Adam, sweetheart, whatever you heard, we.. we both love you, O.K.?” Daddy spoke. Mom looked confused, He pushed gently at her mind.
She screamed.
He pushed harder.