Celebration
Patrick has something important to tell his brother, if only he knew how to listen.
Look at that smug face, he’s hit the jackpot this time. Newly minted department head, hell, whole new department — just for him. Twenty years of scraping by, struggling to pay for gas, electricity and food, now he has management money, and he chooses this.
“Keep up bro, I got an entire day planned. This is a celebration! I have something important to tell you.”
Easy for him to say. He isn’t carrying the damn gear. This stuff is freaking heavy. He isn’t even carrying his own rod, why am I carrying his r.. Damn!
“Easy! That stuff’s expensive. Look, like this, try to stay on the dry rocks.”
“I know how to walk. Maybe if you gave me a hand?” What’s he looking at? It’s not like I dropped a deuce in his coffee. Also, it’s his stuff, and this was his idea. What’s left to celebrate anyway, the promotion was months ago.
“I’m head of the department, you work for me now.”
Didn’t I know it? He fought his way out of Mum first, by twelve minutes, and he kicked me in the face doing it. ‘That’s why you’re so ugly.’ Ugh, pretty much every day from the moment he could talk until Mum finally made him stop at Gran’s funeral, when we were thirty-four.
Thanks for nothing, Mum.
I’m smarter though. I knew what dizygotic meant before he’d stopped wetting his bed, well our bed really, he got the top bunk.
Seriously, what the hell, Mum.
If he knew about the job offer, maybe he’d be nicer, that’s right, somebody actually wants just me! Who am I kidding? I’m not going anywhere. No spine.
“I’m just saying, if you took a couple of bits we’d get there quick.. You’re not even listening to me are you? Come on! At least wait for me to catch. Ah, is that a bear?”
“That eulogy was beautiful, you must miss your brother so much.” Is that sarcasm? “I mean, we all do, this world won’t be the same without him.” Pah! “It’s amazing you got away, you must feel so guilty but you mustn’t blame yourself.”
Well, I wasn’t going to. Although if I hadn’t dropped the fishing poles where I had, he might have avoided tripping over them. You know what they say, I didn’t have to outrun the bear, only my brother. Jesus, did I just think that? I’m so sorry!
I beat you at something, though.
Damn, sorry again.
“It’s hard not to, I keep asking myself if I could have done anything to save him..” No response, she blames me. “Anyway, I really must go, thank you so much for coming.”
“It was lovely to see you again.”
There she goes, who even was that, an Aunt possibly. Oh god, was it Sheila? I had such a crush on her when I was nine, she had those tight leggings that..
“Robert, we need to talk.” Gah! What now?
“Ahh, this is Patrick’s funeral.” Why is he here? I got this whole week off. “I booked the time off, I’m not due back until Friday.”
“That’s why Im here. I know the timing’s bad.” Yep, got that right. “There’s never a good time.”
“For what? You’re not firing me are you.” Why isn’t he laughing? That was supposed to be rhetorical. “The hell is this?”
“I’m not firing you.” Whew, thank f.. “Patrick is.”
“Patrick’s dead. At least I hope he is, we just set fire to him.”
“He put in the paperwork last week. He said he wanted to tell you on your trip. When you asked for personal days, I figured he hadn’t, yet, anyway I wanted to do this in person.”
“That’s.. Why?” What did I do? I worked my ass off for twenty years, most of Pat’s great ideas were mine.
“Technically, gross insubordination. That thing with the spray cheese and the condom..”
“Hey, he was fine, eventually. Once they got it out. Anyway..”
“He knew that you’d been looking at other firms.” I wouldn’t leave, I’m not ready to leave! “That they offered you a job.”
“But..”
“He knew you wouldn’t take the job unless he made you.”
“I don’t understand.”
“He didn’t want to be in your shadow anymore, he finally felt he could go it alone, without your help.”
“What?”
“I mean, that’s what he was celebrating, he really didn’t tell you any of this?” Oh god. “This was a new beginning for him.”